Teach me to care and not to care

Cheb has got me wrapped around its finger. It never ceases: each day I come from school filled up. I think to myself, when will the high stop? When will I come back down from the clouds and realize that I am in a foreign country where few share my language, my customs, my beliefs? When will I realize that this is hard?

But it is hard, as all teachers know--whether you are a teacher of subjects or a teacher of life. It is hard to care so much. In one of my classes today we read an excerpt from "A Long Way Gone" by Ishmael Beah, which is about Beah's experience as a child soldier in Sierra Leone in West Africa. I asked my class, does it matter what happens in Africa? Fred said, yes, of course it matters. Frank said, no, I don't care. I care about what happens to me. Why should it matter to me what happens in Africa? Fred said, what about your ancestors? They stole from Africa. Your history includes Africa. Now, Fred is Vietnamese. Frank is Roma--a Gypsy. They come from completely different backgrounds, and neither one is truly and fully "European" in the colloquial sense of the word. But Fred cares about Africa. Frank does not. They argued in class--and in English!--for a few minutes, until they decided they simply had different opinions. And then they made up (talk about maturity), and their catch phrase for the rest of class was "war and peace." I loved it. It was all I could do to keep myself from bursting into a passionate rant. I have to keep myself on-task, you know. 45 minutes goes by quickly.

But my heart breaks for people like Frank. To not care? What's that like? What can I do for them? What do I say, to show them how to care, to show them that I care? What will it take? And it is only October.

I plan for much more of this to happen. I am not here just to "do my job." I am here to care, whether they like it or not. Can I make them care? Probably not. But there might be a chance. I want fights in class. I want debate, argument, heated opinions... Is this a young teacher's folly? Probably. Shake your head at me all you want. But I am here, I am ready, and I am going to milk this for all it's worth.

Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still.